Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Just Say You're Wrong

The clouds are low today, protruding ominous shapes in
the darkest of gray. I went to make some coffee before trudging
off to that maze i call 'work' and i realized, i have no cream.
Coffee without cream is like popcorn without butter. It
totally depends on your tastes, I suppose. I am sort of at
a loss of what to say today, because I feel that really, to this
point I have said too much without saying anything at all. Words
are useless, really, though we put so much emphasis on them.
Because I can sit here and burn away at my keyboard, churning
out thought which seems really witty and captivating but on
a second read, comes off as drivel.

but i'm starting to realize something...

Those people who I wrote about in my first segment, people
like Vance and Ember and Pat the talking cuckoo clock, appear
to be a lot different than my surface view of them. I could
really use some coffee - it would put this train of thought more
securely on a track but oh well, here goes. What I mean is after
our first few days of training (and by the way, I DID have to do
a group poop presentation not just with Vance or Queen Ember,
but with BOTH of them - if that's not irony, what the hell is?) I
really rushed to place all three of those people in a safe little
box of categorization almost to appease my own mind or have
them 'nailed down' so to speak. But really I was pretty headstrong
in my dumping on them - I think I just really don't like this job
and the corporate salve-labour bullshit manifestos that go with
it and projected my feelings on to them.

Because what I found out is that Pat, though I swear she is
completely CUCKOO for COCOA PUFFS, actually has a bit of
strange lisp because she only has 30% hearing in one ear and
85% in the other. Therefore that slurring of speech and nasality
I was hearing is due to her inability to hear well. Still, who the
hell uses 'Oh LA LA!' as a phrase in regular speech? Unreal.

And VANCE, oh dear Vancey. Vance, as I commented earlier,
has a real problem with telling everyone how it is and how his
opinion is not just his opinion, but the ecumenical according-
to-hoyle standard of the industry. But again, as I learned from
a lunch conversation where his eyes scanned the cafeteria quickly
to find a spare seat to sit in and my heart crapped as he saw
the seat next to me, he's got more than meets the eye in his
own battles. It appears that Vance has been, for 4 years now,
and is currently in the midst of a nasty divorce dispute (now
I can see where his wife would have found some flaws, but...)
that involves everything from children, to land, self-started
businesses and even the new golf-course of which he is a 10%
owner. SO even though he is a Wilford Brimley wanna-be or
look-alike (take your pick) and he should be selling oatmeal
instead of telemarketing, I can sort of...kinda...see what makes
him the way he is - defensive, cornered, easily angered, bitter,
argumentative, selfish, stubborn. I...don't want to like him but
I think I'm starting to understand.

(case in point)
Ember, the drama queen of this great north land. She ices my
blood and makes me want to chew off my own skin. But again,
weird stuff goin' on with her. Apparently, Ember (from a convo
I overheard) just recently lost her father to a long battle with
the c disease. I guess she was closest to him and hates her sisters
and mother with a fiery passion.

See where I'm headed?

Does anyone?


At November 24, 2004 at 7:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I know where you're going...
you're waking up to your humanity as I did in a similar situation working with people with mental illnesses. It's nice to wake up to something new, but if you're not a morning person it feels similar to a drowning death. I'm not a morning person...


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